Empathy is not weakness, it is pure strength. I scare myself at times when I realize I immediately feel sorry for someone that has wronged me in one way or another. I feel true pity that they are weak and can’t take responsibility for their actions, that they can’t see the world through the eyes of others, and that their perception of the world is only seen from their own contorted perception.
I feel a deep sadness for them knowing that they’ll likely never experience true compassion. The Dalai Lama talks a lot about how we miss the point in our purpose in life and what compassion truly is, it’s not a weakness. It truly sad to me that others carelessly go though their days only thinking of themselves.
It is truly such a beautiful place of peace and comfort when you realize that all the ugly experiences I went through were all part of a larger design that I didn’t grasp until I had no choice but to look back at the pain and ask why. Why me, more importantly why not me? That is where so many of us struggle, we think we are immune to these things. What makes us think believe that we are entitled to only so much suffering, but see others going through things that we can’t imagine going through, but still we ask God and the Universe why we have to experience 1/10 of what someone else is going through? That concept is so selfish and self serving, yet so many will never grasp the why not me concept.
We all lose people we love, there is divorce, difficulties as we grow into adults, raising kids, jobs, friends, struggling with co-workers and bosses. There is always going to be a someone who we can choose to be offended by in everyday life, someone we can say stole our happiness, or broke our heart. I love the way the collective-evolution goes into detail about how we are being trained to be offended, it’s a choice to things personal. The point is that we have that is a choice to allow them to internally affect our thoughts. Things have power only if we give them power.
It is life changing, it is little alterations in my awareness, little cracks in the old me, the pain released a new me overtime. The moment of clarity is when I look back and shouted thank you God for all of it, every tear, every injustice, every harsh word I heard and even for the sociopath that couldn’t take me down. Thank you for the growth that made me feel so powerless and then powerful.
I believe that others experience this and they are meant to grow from their experience, but they miss the point. They think that the world is out to get them and can somehow maintain that only bad things are happening to them through it all. So life gives us all tests, we have to take them. God will give you the same test over and over again until you learn what he wants you to learn. Billy Graham explains this well, click on his name to read what he said.
Embrace the uncertainty, feel grateful when you so desperately want to fall to the ground because you are overwhelmed with sadness. Stop wasting precious minutes of your life caring what others think about you. You do not have to care what people think about you, you choose to. If you really look at the big picture, the millions of people on this earth, and care what 5-10 people think, you’re wasting your energy.
It took me so long to grasp that, truly live it. Living free isn’t an easy leap from living from a place where others opinions matter. It is however a leap that everyone is capable of, maybe it comes with age for some, and never to so many. I can guarantee that at the end of my life I will not be thinking back about the opinions of those who do not know me and any opinions they may or may not have. Why would I worry about others opinion if I know in my heart that I am being true to myself and know my moral compass isn’t broken? The answer is that I shouldn’t and I don’t.
When I stopped caring what others think, I stepped into my life fully. When I embraced the difficult times and was grateful for the wisdom I could only have gained from those experiences, I start living. Worrying, complaining, or having a pity party does not create a change in circumstances, it makes life harder, but yet so many people will stay in that cycle until theres something that wakes them up. People have to want to change their own perspective, you can’t change it for them. You can inspire change by being the change.
All the suffering, heartache, worrying, and caring what others think you can put in a big bowl and mix together to eat everyday, but the label on the container would read Makes life more difficult soup. You can choose to eat the soup that makes like difficult or you can choose to surrender to living life despite the troubles that come your way. It is a choice.
There is a great article by Psychology Today with steps to overcome fear of what people think. Click HERE to read the article by Fredric Neuman M.D.